This was originally written and shared with the world through Facebook and my previous website on Nov 28, 2015.
Today is my birthday and I am 41. Woo!
Here I am, a 41 year mom, midway through recording and funding a new record. There are mountains of evidence to support the notion that the music industry is youth dominated. But I think music is more about our desire to connect and I know that desire goes much, much deeper than our fascination with youth.
As I grow older my personal desire to sing and connect though music isn’t diminishing. I am finding the opposite to be true. Every year and every day and with every breath I take I want to sing and connect more! I want to dig deeper for the simpler truths. The songs for my new album hold more of my truth and reflect more of my spirit than ever before.
I am 41 and excited to be relaunching my career. Who says I can’t release my best record ever and reach new heights with my career in my 40s and beyond? Well, actually, a bunch of people. But I’m not worried about that. I make music because it is what I love to do.
Here are some further thoughts on age, music and why I’m why I am so exited about this new album (be warned the following message is long, and heartfelt :)
I have loved every year on this planet. Every year has taught me something. Every year has brought someone new into my life. Every year I’ve lived is now a part of me. These new songs and this new album is richer and deeper because of that. Perhaps one of the aspects of youth that draws our fascination is that young people have a higher tendency to be curious and see the world through a filter of wonderment. But no age and no number owns that view. We can all be awestruck by the bountiful beauty of this world and the sense of possibility and surprise around every corner.
I think that one of the best things we can do is socialize and connect with people outside of our age groups. It happens more naturally in small towns. If you really like birds or frogs or pinball machines or whatever… in a town of 300 chances are you may have to venture beyond your age group to find someone else who also loves that very specific thing. This is wonderful because we gain a broader perspective of the world when we connect with those older and younger than ourselves.
I don’t want to get pulled down a rabbits hole here and get into villainizing advertising (it’s a complex topic that I don’t see as black and white) but I will say this… advertising sorts us into demographics and encourages social segregation based on age, gender, cultural backgrounds and economic status. And this does none of us any favours. We are a community. We need each other. The young can learn from the experience of the old. The older folk can be reminded by the young of the more innocent and curious parts of themselves. This is only one example but, essentially, we need each other. Individually we are but strings and strings can break. But when we allow ourselves to be open and trusting and lean on each other and learn from each other we knit together and form the fabric of society. We need each other: with all our varied skills, knowledge bases and perspectives… young and old…. And this is a beautiful thing. The world is lonely and cold when we wall ourselves away and are fearful of each other.
As we get older we have more and more responsibilities heaped upon our shoulders and this can weigh us down. But some of the most inspiring people I’ve ever met are well into their 80’s and beyond. Perhaps they raised a zillion kids on a shoe string budget and worked 50 hours a week for 40 years doing not their favourite thing and perhaps they persevered through deeper hardships than that. But they managed to arrive in a place where they see the world as bright and shiny again. They discovered how strong they are through having to be strong and therefore they themselves now beam all the brighter. Or perhaps they managed to hold hope close to their hearts the whole way along. Those lucky few we know who never seem to get weighed down by negative thoughts.
And the young: of course we are inspired by the young people in our lives! They are making new discoveries every day at an astonishing rate. Gosh they know how to have fun. To play for the sake of play. They have no looming tax deadlines to get in the way of pillow fights, fort building and dress up parties. The 5 year old artist who has never been told they can’t draw… they can draw because they feel like it. The 7 year old musician who plays notes and tones for the pure joy of making sound. For them, sound is an open world of possibility. Sounds can be lovely and sweet or silly and funny or loud and bossy. And all of those sounds are equally valuable because they are all on the path of discovery and they are all in the spirit of play.
And then there are teenagers. Oh teenagers, right on the cusp of being adults but not quite yet. But since we all develop different abilities at different times and since we all grow up in slightly or even vastly different circumstances… let’s not patronize the teens and young adults in our lives. Yes, we have things we can teach them but they also have things they can teach us. I know teens with a much better handle on world politics than I have. I know teens who are brilliant and intuitive and well read. I know teens with better self discipline than I may ever have. And holy snappers, let me tell you about this amazing 18 year old I met last month.
I went into my local coffee shop and there was someone new working at the food prep station. Anywho, he looked up and said hello and positively beamed with some of the brightest and most open energy I’d ever encountered. With a baseball cap slightly to the side and subtle hip hop style… what? I really, really try hard not to stereotype but sometimes… I fail. Isn’t this guy supposed to be off spray painting something or full of teenaged angst or incredibly awkward and shy or super bored at his mundane after school job, and hey, wait, aren’t people 30 and above supposed to be invisible to teenagers? But no, here I was having a briefly profound and connected moment (out of nowhere) with… the teenaged dude making the sandwiches. In that moment, we “recognized” each other. All the stereotypes and age barriers fell away and our spirits said, “oh hey” to each other. Cool!
I saw him there a few more times in the weeks that followed. We formed a friendly acquaintance, and through casual observation I discovered that he’s one of those people that everyone loves. He’s grounded and kind and warm. He’s loving life, loving the world, recognizing all people for the special and unique souls that they are. He smiles and jokes with people and lifts their days with the ease and self assurance of someone well beyond his years. We ended up hanging out one night after a concert with a group of people. (Ok, I brought a gang back to my studio for a freestyle hip hop jam on my looper. So. Much. Fun!!!) Anyway, at one point I said, “so, uh, what’s your deal?” (The lamest question of the century). And he says he had a lovely childhood, then hit a rough spot at about 12 and the world was making less sense to him. Then at 15 he discovered meditation and has been meditating almost daily for the 3 years since.
Aha! I’m not saying meditation is “the answer” for everyone. I’m saying it’s been his answer. How beautiful and lucky that he has found a way to live life in such a bright and open way at such a young age. But not the innocent kind of bright and open that we all start with. He has already hit rocky times and will have more to come. But he is proactive and self aware and has developed a tool set for coping in the real world and weathering the storms that come with real problems.
I wouldn’t say age is just a number and doesn’t matter. There is something about our age that is part of what defines us. But it is a small part. And we can let our spirits shine bright at any age… at every age. Let’s be proud of how many times we’ve been around the sun.
It is a constant journey and sometimes struggle for us all, to live a life where we encounter hardships but see beyond them. To allow ourselves to acknowledge hurt and loss but still face each day with hope and openness. Luckily we have things like meditation and running and writing in our journals and music! And, of course, each other. We have each other! We have sunsets and sunrises. We have water and trees and books and animals and mugs of hot tea. We have art and fresh air and food from the garden. But even on the days and through the years when we feel as though we have nothing… we always have the one thing that can see us through the hardest of times. We have our spirits.
And that is the inspiration for my new album. The spirit. Our spirits connect us and drive us and are always be there for us. People can break our hearts but not our spirits. What is it pulling me back to music after one of the longest self imposed, self employed, maternity leaves ever? My spirit. Well, actually it’s more than my spirit. It’s the feeling of spirit connection I get when I’m singing at a concert and one of those moments hits. Perhaps you’ve experienced one of these moments I’m talking about: that moment where everyone at a concert gels and hits the same wavelength. As a performer I get to be the conduit for all that energy. It’s an incredible feeling and one that I’ll always want to come back to no matter how old I am.
That’s the performance side of things. But it’s the same on the songwriting side. I am letting these songs come from my spirit. Sure there’s heart in there too… and a little brain here and there looking for the right rhyme. But time and time again I see that it’s our spirits that sustain us through the troubled times. It’s our spirits that catch inspiration and allow us to fly. It’s our spirits that sparkle in connected moments. It’s our spirits that recognize each other when we allow it to be so.
Writing these songs and creating this album has been an amazing journey so far and it’s only just begun! I can’t wait to share this music with the world. I just recorded my very last vocal for the album two nights ago… woo!!! We are officially switching into mixing mode and I’m so excited I could burst. This is already the best album I’ve ever made. I can feel it all the way to my toes. Woo Hoo!
Thank you for being my friends and family and colleagues and fans and neighbours and community. Thank you for being my peeps. Writing songs and singing them wouldn’t really mean much if there was no one to join in at the choruses and sing them with me.
Cheers all! And happy my birthday to you!!!
:)
Coco